so tired...

urgh..i spent my 1st hrs of 20007 walking...so now im damned shagged...

anyways was eating sushi with my celll at a restraunt for lunch...99 cents a plate...damned nice lor.

went to chris house later...hhaha.

anyways pple asked me why i was wearing so formal(long sleeve shirt and all) and i told them cos i was at church.

then wenling told me she was from COR and a cell mate of jayce but din noe her well. then she said jayce is 'very serious de' hahaz. yeah i see ur pnt...

anyways, since she was in a bad mood cos of her BF prob, i decided to be nicer to her lah...i mean, i dun want to know how she's like when she's pissed...

so i like helped her carry her handbag when she complained that it was heavy(well wad else can she possibly be hinting?) i realised that she's just like my sis.

a-she's fun to irritate the heck outta.
b- when she's asking for favours, she'lll try to butter u up.

case in ont...she was liek: oh anxian, i like u...
me:oh sorry i dun like u...

LOLZ

then she was like: like u as in frens lah asshole...


muahahhaha...

funnyz...

then justin made a prank call to her BF ...hahhaz

anyways funny

linfeng was like:hey, let's go MOS (ministry of sound)to club...then he pnts at MOS burger...lolz
yah let's go there to grind....beef

lolz

the way back, we wiated for 174. it never came. so we took111 to queenstown then walked back. gosh i only got back at 6 in the morn...taht's why im so friggin tired.

oh yeah...i wished jayce happy enw year...then she replied witha gretting asking who i am...
well, it seems taht she lost her phone recently... -_-lll

i get teh feeling that if not for teh fact aht she din noe who it was, she wont reply one lor...
well...treat it as a belated xmas present i guess...

anyways, it's funny, when reading the message she sent, i could kinda visuallise her vioce. it strange dun ask why, but it came quite naturally. i din even have to think abt her voice...
./yawns...

tired

went to my sis's lab cos she was very depressed and was crying when she called.
so i went there with lunch...

haiz...so tired. let's jsut say i was there washing test tubes.

so tired...

collapse...

anyways..as yet another testiment of my scariness...i was just standing in the lab, when my sis' fren came in. when she saw me she was so scared she practically jumped.

haiz..

but according to my sis, she scares herself anyways...so yep...

maybe not..

./end

just back from C4 interview

just back from C4 interview. seems that bcos of overwhelming response, there's a selection process, and taht means i may not get the job.

anyways funny stuff.
those pple were selling charity tix at city link. 1 bought from the 1st one, then another came to me and asked me to buy from her...but i dun wanan. but she kept bugging me. so i did soemthing really freaky.

i banged my head against the wall

she panicked and said:'dun do taht, my boss willl scold me'
then she ran away.

seems like im good at scaring pple

just yesterday this kid kicked the ball next to me. he came to pick it up, but whenhe saw me, he cried and ran away...

gosh am i really that scary?

hahaz

anyways. i happen to see tony at city hall, as well as zi ying. it was by chance that i saw her. i was walking around city link to get to suntech when i saw ziying pouring water at the outside of gelare. im liek: wait a min is taht zi ying. i sww the nametag and relaised it was. hahaz. when i called her name, she was like: how did u noe i work here? hahaz...it was by pure chance..hahaz

./end

>_<...me having PMS again

PMS again...just frustrated and lost and angry and wadnot. dun aks why, dun ask how.

anyhow, there are 101 things goinf thru my mind rite now...all of which involves the death ofsomebody...

let me see..
thought...
no.1: shoot santa's sleigh down with a stinger missile, santa dies
no.2: take a knife and stab myself in teh heart, i die
no.3: take a drill get to my heart, rip it out and see it pumping , then apply a heck of a pressure on it...i die.
no.4:my insides rooting away(poison?)...i die
no.5:i go out and get struck by lightning. it fries me and i die
no.6: i go out, slip on the road, car comes by adn crushes me into a greazy pacth...i die
no.7:i get hit on the head by a sniper. i die instantly.
no.8: i get hit on the torso by a sniper. bullet goes rite thru my heart. dying, i say a silent thank you...i die.
no.9i get ripped apart by cars pulling chains connected to my body. i get ripped to pieces. i die.
no.10:i get a heartattack and die.
no.11: my neck cut by a sword or knife....i die...
no.12:i get smothered by a pillow. i die.
no.13: i get caught in a large oven and gets locked inside. i get baked to death.
......
.....
....
...
..
.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
list goes on and on.

really,really not in a gd mood now...>_<

time to the rain has set me free.

went running in the rain today. and all my sadness became dissolved. well, i started running at...0630? that's quite early... but i dunno when my City Care meeting will start so i figured i better run earlier.

i felt so free. who needs jayce? not me. not anymore. me? i relaised something. notice how in one prom photo i was standing next to 2 chio bus(they're sam and tiff, both my P6 classmates. realised that as much as she is cute and all, why should i just settle for her who ignores me dun talk to me. hmph(angry le). why i can go ahead and scan and look at teh multitudes of chiobus! ha! it's as janet said to me on MSN last nite. 'GO LOOK AT OTHER GALS LAH!' hahz. yeah true. i relised taht i may be doing soem fo teh same mistakes i did with her2...taht is i concentrated so much on her2..i din bother looking around. and i guess that's why i din bother trying to chase jayce until like this year..haz...and now im was so consumed by my sadness that im not even looking around! gosh...during prom, i looking at jayce so intentely even tho i could've been looking at the prom queen nominee lor...WTF is wrong with me? hahaz...

so it's set. my radadr is back to scanning mode again after being stuck in tracking mode for so long.

back to gal hunting season muahahhz...

i admit, i muist be going mad...

./end

oh
and sorry janet.

i still dun think u look like the supporting actress in princess hrs...:P
i still think ur more like the main actress...which as u noe is not as attractive as teh supporting actress..

muahahhaz.

sorry

apologies.

christmas tears

letter to santa:

dear santa,

i want to confess taht i've not been a good boy. i've freaked out one too many pple. i've doen things blindly, without considering the consequences and made a gal go thru hell.i've been a bad boy. but it is at this pnt irrelevant.

even if i were on the nice list, u cant give me wad i want. wad i want...it's simple, yet complicated at teh same time. it is something taht u cannot give, and it is not up to u to give, but it's up to someone else to give. it's not ur call to decide so dun bother. in fact if i should see u flying overhead, i might consider shooting you down with a stinger missile. so$%^& off.

you have been warned

well, if u must give, i'd request a 0.44 colt anaconda with 1 round loaded.
that'll be for myself.

thx u for ur understanding
JAP(johnny austin peters)


anywasy wad i wad most. is for jayce to at least reply me.

that seems impossible at this pnt.

i've already waited 1 week.

i was hoping that that maybe it's bcos she's busy with work so cant reply me, so prob have to wait till weekend. well, guess wad? weekend's over, and still no reply...T_T.

XY said taht there's still soem possibility...for eg if she's overseas.

i highly doubt taht.

i think she's ignoring me. i think she din even bother reading the e mail.

T_T

been having dreams-no-nightmares abt her...

and been crying i secret.

when will this end?

i wish i never felt for her.

and my dad' been using my bed. i cant sleep in any bed now since he took mine. looks like im not gonna sleep today.

./end

THIS MORNING...i have the joy of teh lord!

i felt better after i prayed last nite. it's as if the lord has healed my wounds at least temporarily. in fact i felt so good, that even when my sister was being all pessimistic and depressed and like just getting pissed for no reason wadsover(PMS?) i did not hols any grudge against her. she got REAALLy pissed when i told her that i was going to work for city care cadet corp... esp when she said my pay was lousy. maybe she's just jaded, maybe she has something againts my church. welll..at least it pays better than her internship as pharmacists...and i mean, it's for a gd cause really-reaching out to those in need, interracting with pple, i mean isn't taht a gd thing? to get paid, taht's extra. really, im not really in need of money rite now so why look for a job that pays well, but does not help u grow as a person? really. the pay is secondary to me. helping others come first- for i know taht my lord will make sure i have sufficient and will in all likelihood, give in abundance. anyways, her negativity did not affect me much...except made me puzzled. it is likely that satan is trying to make me angry with my sister...and to make me stop going to church by using my sis to force me away...

but im not taht stupid..for the lord has given me the wisdom to see thru his cunning act. oh that slippery devil...wad a trap he has set up. but fear not....for i have to joy of teh lord, and no one can take it from me.

./halelujah!

the ramblings of a lovesick fool....

i looked at u from afar

wondering if u'll look at me.

it was so strange, this feeling.

nothing like ive experienced b4.

wad's this feeling inside me,

my heart was racing,

as if it would tear itself down.

i looked upon u sadly...

wondering when u'll look at me.

and now the time has come...

and it's all too late.

me and u...

we've separate paths to take.

it's time to say goodbye,

but we never said a thing.

ur smile...

so graceful, so beautiful...

slowly fades away...

like a distant dream, a fantasy...

gone forever down the road of time...


even as i cry out fro u at the top of my voice,

u'll never hear it,

u'll never return.

ur just so far away,

and there's nothin i can do,

but to look at ur pretty face in a photograph,

and to pray for u to be happy.

for fate is such taht we should part.

./end-im a lil mizerable and lovesick 2day...not gonna blog abt anything else for the time being

sayonara jayce