goodbye.

(translation provided by video)

Say good bye tada Good bye
Subete no wazurawashisa ni Good bye
Say good bye tada Good bye
Kawaru koto osorezuni Good bye

Atemo naku tada aruite
Tsukareta hibi no takara ni Good bye
Susundeyuku michishirube wa
Saisho to onaji kaze no mama ni

If you can't find a way
Ikutsu mono Winding road
Sora ni te wo kazashite Round & round
Mada minu tochi ni fuan oboenagara
Chiisana uta ni tazuneru

Please songs tell me true
Kimi no melody
Doko ni itemo naritsudzuketeiru
Mata itsuka hitori mayottemo
Kikoetanara karoyaka ni arukidaseru

Say good bye tada Good bye
Kizutsuku no wo osorezuni Good bye
Te no naka no machi kirenai
Omoi wa subete suteteyukou

Please songs tell me true
Kimi no melody
Doko ni itemo naritsudzuketeiru
Moshi dokoka hitori mayottemo
Utaetanara shinayaka ni arukidaseru
Good bye

......

well today it was quite embarassing...i really ended up screwing up the performance me and royston did. we performed goodbye by hide for sis jialing who's leaving us.

T_T

as well as the fact that we were breaking up as a cell grp.

T_T

gonna miss many of them.

that's why we went to eat sushi today...as farewell for sis jialing, and to announce our restructuring.

adeline cried when told abt the restructuring. but i guess that's just life.

ha...and a bit guilty cos i only made my 1st post in the E348 blog like today...close to when E348 is going to disband

T_T

aho!(stupid!)

go only when we're close to being disbanded lolz.

but since we're in the same zone, i guess we should be seeing each other.

anyways.

bro darren is now my cell grp leader.

it'll be interesting i think.

haiz.

but samuel is now going to bro justin's cell grp. so no longer with me.

T_T

at least he's with victor who's also in his platoon.

oh. and today's performance highlighted my need for a pick. cos i used an improvised one that quickly worned down like....ver fast....

bro darren asked why i din use pick.

i din have one.

then why din royston give?

he did, but im not used to hard ones...i can only use soft one.

crap...cos im still new to strumming.

so bro darren gave me a soft pick!

if this were like zelda....

i can imagine....

"u have recieved a soft pick!"

haha...and then my cell grp were like .....-_-lll

later, in the strong wind i acted as if i were like some explorer fighting against strong gales...well, just for fun lah...

then my cell was like laughing their arses off...

they said i shld consider drama ministry hahaz...im actually thinking security tho...hmm...

nvm, when taht time comes then is hould have a clearer idea...meanwhile im not even ordinary member so i ministry is out. for now.

charles is going to tokyo soon tho. im asking him to help me find x japan's last live. adeline's asking for any alice nine albums...hahaz...

speaking of which..in the cell grp photo just now, me and charles...i had an umbrella he had my guitar which he calls his sis in law..since my guitar is a sister guitar to his...ha...and did arms drill with them. hahaz.

./sayonara...i hate that word...

my day just keeps getting better.

last night i dreamt abt jayce.

it freaked me out greatly...

well most parts were pretty much much liek how it happens in real life. i see her. she ignores me. strangely in my dream i still think of her somewad fondly, and there was sadness...

but in one segmentof teh dream i wake up and felt as if something's resting on me...(ie im lying face down on the ground and i just wake up..)

then in the dream i feel like theres hair...relatively long hair over my neck...which i was like:" wait...is taht a gal resting over my neck?

turn around...

hmm...loks familar

JAYCE?!

so i scream in sheer horror.

of cos all of that took place in my dream...thxfully..

prob is...wad does it mean?

most of all wad does it tell abt me?

train hit person today. tarin kena suspended. stranded. tong bang from roy and weijie.

person prob still alive.

went to sentosa st in cab. din apy admission fee.

writing extremely breifly cos pissed with blogger that deleted ALOT of wad i put down. so decided to keep it brief.
sian of typing teh same things

but when we wnet to join cell grp for games, the gals commented taht i looked as if nothing happened to me..like im ok.

that's prob cos i regain energy quickly....

maybe.

in teh end my cell grp won most of teh games yeah!

so we got rewards.

anyways.
games we palyed
human table soccer...like soccer, but also liek table soccer in taht one bunch is fixed together(ie hand in hand) and within ur own boundaries...lolz

tehn captain's ball with fruits...losl...there was banna and oange and lastly pineapple...all introed oen at a time.
funny thing was. since pineapple was 2 pnts., everoen concentrated on pineapple. so i ahd both banna and orange with me and no oen to pass to....so i did solo! ie throw both in front. run and catch it myself...repeat till it reaches teh captain....haha
everoen so engrossed with pineapple atht i did many scores solo!

lolz

./end

yay!

today i learnt to play the chords fro goodbye by hide..very satisfied(altho my fingers are numb by now)

i need a pick...a real one.

>_<
the psot card one i made all wore out le...
>_<
anyways i figured taht since i learnt goodbye...i should eb able to do love song by luna sea.

wrong...taht was like so much harder lor
>_<


it's easier to say goodbye then it is to say u love someone lah?

no lah

joking

muahahah

./end

DSTA:round2! fight!

ok, got a reply from DSTA. im in their aptitude test. woot!

today at prayer meeting i saw ms charis lee!

i din noe she was from my chruch...lolz

today...

yep today went for cell then went for bursury thing...

was a bit late for it i thot...

but i believ that god helped me to get there in time.....

how else do u explain that 176 came jsut shortly after i got to the bustop, and that when i alighted from 176, 174 was right behind it?

too many coincidences....

thx u lord...


anyways this year,
no food.

just i packet of drinks

:(

./end

everything changes....

it's been abt a year....

a year since the move to from malan

a year since i fell in love with jayce.

a year since i started using this site....

ok...roughly a year ....

so wad has changed?

lots it seems

A-i longer have feelings for jayce.
B-Sinyi is now officially with OJ
C-Im no longer in SAJC
D-Im now a christian
E-my room..the layout is different
F-no more NTU-JC challenge!
G-im paying adult fair T_T
H-im better at my manga drawing

but some things remain the same

A-i still listen to jrock
B-i still draw
C-i still watch anime(actually pretty much only getbackers....)
D-Sinyi still loves OJ
E-my gender still remains Male
F-mum's still somewad cranky at times

wad a difference a years makes...365 days....

./end

morning run

still feeling pretty sucky today.

had a strange dream...and a long one too...dun quite rmb wad it was abt...but everyone that i've come to know....taht means everoen since sec schl....to today popped up in my dream...

it's strange.

went running and saw kah hui who was going to work.

went to JE lib...yeha abt it till now...

a tad sian

./sianz

guitar orientation

went back to help my juniors run their orientation.

met some of my J3 guitarists....it's nice to see them after some time.

and it looks like we weren't the only one.

sinyi was working in SAJC as chem tutor.

and looks like some SFC pple are there...Caleb for one, Rebbecca another.

heard from sinyi jayce was also there too. well, wadever. does't matter to me.just as well, since we never met each other.

it really goes to show that fate is such that we are not meant to be.

well, so be it.

possibly, she was warned by rebbecca wo saw me teh fitrst thing i went in. maybe. but that's quite pntless really.

cut myself while climbing the fence. damn it.been too long since i climbed fences...

anyways, turns out sinyi is officially going out with OJ...that's gd news..congratulations.

then she tells me:"see, if u persist, u will get it eventually. nothing is impossible"

i cant rmb...there's a chinese saying...

a gal going after a guy...is just a stone's throw away, a guy going after a gal is a mountain away.

well in my case it's a mountain that's running away.

or rather it's not just a mountain im fighting

it's also the water current pushing me back.

well wad the hell.

not going for taht mountain anymore anyways.

i'll just let it be.

no pnt getting into it.

pntless...

im swimming in a sea of despair...

there is only nothingness...

the heart continues to bleed...

not because there is someone opening the wound...

but because there is no one closing the wound...

coming home...mum is cranky...

great and on the day i help her to fold her to fold teh clothes and she comes back screaming at us...
great.

remind me wad's teh incentive for helping out in the housework again?

if i use the pattern im observing....

there's a positive correlation between helping out in housework and getting screamed at...

so why should i help?

sometimes(and by taht i mean quite often)..i feel that i dislike my family.

they sap the enthusiasm and energy from me...

wadever positiveness i have is robbed from me...

i feel dead at home...

./end-that blade looks pretty inviting now...

bomb has been defused...results are less tahn satisfactory

ok.

city care called

buit there' teh lab job.

and i think it'll be difficult for sis to explain to her lecturer.

something's gotta go.

dang.

some difficult decisions have to be made....

and i decided to go with teh lab job...

taht means im no longer a cadet of city care...

>_<

but, i'll still ehlp out tml anyways.

i do wd i can to help.

./end-definitely less tah satisfactory...

so much for a job...

well, so much for jobs that linfeng introd...

GV vivo looking for long term pple.

and teh oher job at shenton? MLM.

urgh....shouldn't have gone for that thing...should've gone with my cell grp for outing at sentosa...

>_<

./end

DSTA interview

todays' interview was fun!

very informal, and actually i kinda enjoyed teh interview...more like conversation...and teh interviewer was very funny...

haz

and met many interesting pple(all like from RJ or HCJ or NJ de....-_-)
very freindly pple.

most of them taking trip sc tho...so those pple a bit sad cos bio sci is not wad DSTA is looking for...whereas these pple most prob going to biomedical field...

anyways, so yup, many pple applying for this scholarship... some pple say i remind tehm of frens of tehm...lolz...someone asked if my surname was chan cos she knew a guy who speaks and sounds exactly like me...

then soemoen asked if im steven..who's that?

yup. met alot of nice pple.

oh and one of them was quite chio de...HC...and as i guessed correctly. from dance...

cos we were all introing ourselves while waiting for interviews, and when michelle (that's her name) was told to tell us her CCA, she told us...guess... my 1st guess : dance...

yup i was rite

i wonder if im pyschic.

anyways, seems the interviewers were'nt impressed by my prelims results.

yapali...i knew i screwed up...

he asked me wad ahppened(prob comparing to my promos)

'i got distracted by someone...'

'u mean...BBBBBBBBB.................GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG........RRRRRRRRRRRRRR'(note the long dragging)

'yeah that kind'

haz....

i think wad got me so far was just my essay....yup....

who cares...anyways...when A level comes i'll prove to be different...

but otherwise it was quite cool. yup

i think when i told him i read jane's defence weekly(well, he asked me how i got to know abt DSTA) he prob was trying to test me by asking me wad's teh latest buzz in the defence industry...

of cos i talked abt the JSF...and how US refuses to export all it's related technology to britain and all...he asked did i noe why. i said that it's because u never know who ur enemy is tml..stuff liddat.yup

then he said that's why there's DSTA...haz...for which he said something abt it's like a shifu and his diciple....the shifu will only teach the disciple 90% of teh stuff...in case teh disciple wants to kill the shifu after taht...so the disciple must coem up with the 10% himself...lolz

ok..a bit tired. haz

./end-happy

L died!

went to watch deathnote2 with samuel today cos he's enlisting tml.

it was damned nice

tho very different from the manga i must say.

pretty empty tho...the cinema
maybe cos it's benn showing for some time, and taht it's in the aftenoon.

anyways
other than me and samuel there were...

a whole bunch of students(all guys)

an old man who keeps talking(loudly) to himself..strange why would a person liek him watch this movie...we thot he was in the wrong place or sumthing...

a couple(ok a gal and a gal...both studenst..but can tell very obvly they're a couple)
anyways soem gal on the street...prob early sec...kinda remined me of jayce...except..that the gal is prettier! to which i thought to myself...grow well young gal...and you will grow up to be a bueatiful fine lady...

now wad the heck got into my mind???

strange......

how to tell that i've gotten over her.

well simply i dun dream abt her anymore.

last nite, i dreamt i was at soem JC class chalet thing...and taht i had a galfren...but she wasn't jayce...it was soem other gal...but i was very happy.(BTW the gal in the dream had a sorta anime gal kinda quality to her....and note taht i've never seen that gal B4...strange...but in the dream it feels as if i knew her and taht i loved her..strange huh?) anyways it was JC class chalet cos shiyuan was there and it was bedtime, and shiyuan was teasing me to sleep with my galfren. i was like saying it was inappropriate...but shiyuan was like saying:look at her, so sad, she wants you to sleep with her lah!. (look behind shiyuan..yah she's giving a look that says pls..)....i agreed and then i wake from the dream.

and i laugh my ass off..

i really think i shouldn't have teased shiyuan and yijiang so much on hindsight....


it's cool now

anyways caleb described jayec in 1 word as: fierce.

now i was wondering why.

he explained taht he was scolded on 1st day of sch cos he tucked out his shirt and jayce was scolding him for setting a bad eg(he's in SFC after all)

but he said taht was teh only time.

well, she ahs never EVER been fierce to me...

altho she ignores me very often...(hence the feeling of talking to walls)

so i dunno wad to say

except maybe. thx u jayce for turning me down
i guessit wouldn't have worked out. since im pretty sloppy...

so thx u...
meanwhile i laughed my butt off .

caleb was like :"is the photo of jayce and me with you?"

i was like no...why would it be with me? why aint it with any of u?

cos jayce's cam went outta batt...

-_-lll

anyways told him abt jayce losing her phone to which he says: realli meh?

well she told me taht..so....

anyways, funny
i have my photo with caleb.

and i have my photo with jayce.

and just nice lah.

caleb can go and use photoshop lor...i mean since im on the right in one and on the left in teh other...lolz

but seriously...damned fuuny lor..esp since it was jayce who took the photo of me and caleb.

then if it wasn't me then who was it?

anyways, he made this comment which made me suspicious...a lil...

he said: she was very pretty taht nite..

hahz

i think he has soemthing for her
my RWR scope is ringing

it's interesting and this is teh 2nd sign.

i dun care

in fact im kinda happy for him. and shld she choose to go out with him, i wish them all teh best.

or i could be thinking too much. altho my sis shares her sentiment abt this suspicion.

pretty as she may be. i dun care anymore. just wanna be ur fren.

i mean seriosuly..i have many pretty gal frens out there. not as if i have/had feelings for all of them.

haz

im just wondering if the gal from my dream actually exists.

it'll be scary if she does.

went out shopping with my sis...

and i saw the dress taht ziying and jayce wore for prom....

jayces's one i kinda recognised it instantly

but ziying's not so.

i was like: hmm...this dress looks awfully familiar
just couldn't put my finger on it.


i thot for teh whole day then realised taht ziying wore it.

it's now for $65 ....

wonder how much ziying's was.....

my sis almost bought it haz...

./looking for teh gal in my dream...is she real?

let me see...that's victim no.4 already

ok, i just freaked one of my neighbours while returning from throwing the rubbish. i threw away the rubbish, was walking abck, when i decided to just star outside for a while. happens that my neighbour just came up in the lift and i was in her blind spot. she turned teh corner saw me and jsut freaked out.

both of us laughed it all off...

hahz
splash 4

anyways
wad a ripoff.
turns out the math editorial thing is some tution thing
urgh
and for pri schl summore
urgh

my guess is jayce might like this(this fact is quite irrelevant)...but i can say with 94% confidence interval...i prob wont...i was expecting at least a sec schl standard really...

haiz

think i'll stick with my sis's lecturer

she's looking for lab rat...

sorry lab helper

pay's gd

but...i'll be dealing with carcinogens

if i die of cancer few years from now...u noe who to look for.


haz

./end

woohoo

yay! just got reply from DSTA for an interview

i feel that 2007 is gonna be a diff year! it's gonna be great!

who noes, i may find a gal! who noes? really(altho hopefully not in NS...so mayeb at work?) who noes?

i've let go of jayce, totally.

just wanna be ur fren.

but if ur still scared of me, then so be it.

i'd be fine.

i'll respect ur decision.

haaz

new year, new hopes, new prospective.

so happy

./end

so happy!

used my $15 kino voucher the other day...yay!

and just happened they had a 20% discount! so i bought ghost in the shell: stand alone complex, the 2nd gig for just $6!

ssoooo happy!

maybe it's just becos im out shopping!

sitting at home for long periods can make one crazy.

almost forgot, other day linfeng was telling me....OMG...so corny lor...

when deciding wad to sms jayce, linfweng was like: i noe wad u shloud say.

(note: jayce, after giving greetings, asked who i was)

linfeng: "just say u are the one who truly loves her..."

.....

"if not just say ur the guy who wants her to happy from the bottom of his heart"

erm...


./end