the classic wax

the classic wax is back

no more fears.

ive come back from retirement.

rmb how xy said i used to be scary, how ive changed to becoming the scared?

not anymore

ive returned to myself.

the monster within me shall yet again be unleased...

anyway, so yah. more tsuff from anshul. she was seen carrying arnd a rose the whoel of val's day...and OBVLY not a jar of cookies. so it seemed pretty obv that there is already soemone else and i shld back out.

in fact i think i shldn't have tried at alll. it's all a mess now.

oh well, WTF, it's over.

all forces pull back!

T_T...it hurts inside, but i guess there's no choice

how i wanted to say these words.

"watashiwa, anata, ski desu"

so much for that...
but as XY once told me...
time heals all wounds...
wonder how long will this one take...


and yes. i guess at this pnt in time i shld say: yapali(as expected). atashi baka desu

to feel the fire-gackt
Cause when I look inside my heart and I tell the truth to me
Loud and clear my soul cries out with total honesty
I need the fire,fire,fire to keep me warm
I got to feel the fire
My outer self looks happy as can be
A perfect dream love as clear as all can see
But just like that,real,has hit me suddenly
My outer is a liar
Cause when I look inside my heart and I tell the truth to me
Loud and clear my soul cries out with total honesty
I need the fire,fire,fire to keep me warm
I got to feel the fire
My smiling face,with laughter on the side
You`d say no doubt I get passion every night
But if in our bed your arms don`t hold me tight
Means it leaves much to be desired
Cause when I look inside my heart and I tell the truth to me
Loud and clear my soul cries out with total honesty
I need the fire,fire,fire to keep me warm
I got to feel the fire
And if you look into my eyes and you told yourself the truth
You can`t make a body hot if you don`t light the fuse
I need your fire,fire,fire to keep me warm
I got to feel the fire
It don`t take a rocket scientist to know
that if you don`t fan the flame then the fire will eventully go
Cause when I look inside my heart and I tell the truth to me
Loud and clear my soul cries out with total honesty
I need your fire,fire,fire to keep me warm
I got to feel the fire
Cause when I look inside my heart and I tell the truth to me
Loud and clear my soul cries out with total honesty
I need your fire,fire,fire to keep me warm
I got to feel the fire
I need your fire,fire,fire to keep me warm
I got to feel the fire
To keep me warm,I got to feel it.. fire!

(in gacktease)

Coso en I luk insii my haah an a tell a toos to me
ladhd and cla my sal cra aah wist tota onesee
I nee da fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa too keep me wahm
I gah to fill za fiyaa!
My auta sal looks hapi as ca be
a parfet thream luh as clur as ah can see
bu jus la tha neer a skip me salodi
my auter is a lyuuh
Cos en I luk insii my haah an a tell a toos to me
ladhd and cla my sal cra aah wist tota onesee
I nee da fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa too keep me wahm
I gah to fill za fiyaa!
My smilin fays wis lafta on da sy
U say no da I gi fasho evvri ny
bot ifin ah bad you a do ho me dy
meen s leev mas to be deesiyuuh
Cos en I luk insii my haah an a tell a toos to me
ladhd and cla my sal cra aah wist tota onesee
I nee da fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa too keep me wahm
I gah to fill za fiyaa!
An if yuu look intoo my eyaaaaaaah an yuu tol yorsel da tuus
Yuu can mak a bodi haah if yuu don lite da fyoos
I need joh fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa to keep me wahm
I gah too feel za fiyaa
Rii don ta a woket sientis too no
zat if yuu flan da flem den da fiya wil e-ven-tu-ally go
Cos en I luk insii my haah an a tell a toos to me
ladhd and cla my sal cra aah wist tota onesee
I nee da fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa too keep me wahm
I gah to fill za fiyaa!
Cos en I luk insii my haah an a tell a toos to me
ladhd and cla my sal cra aah wist tota onesee
I nee da fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa too keep me wahm
I gah to fill za fiyaa!
I need joh fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa to keep me wahm
I gah too fill za fiyaa
I need joh fiyaa fiyaa fiyaa to keep me wahm
I gah too fill za fiyaa
Tu keep me wahm, i gah to feel it...fiyaaaaaa!!!!


to tell u the truth...i expected this to happpen. why?
becos soemhow my life will always be screwed up no matter wad happens. it's wax's first law of life. taht somehow my life will always get screwed up in a way or another.


the flowers on teh tree outside my classroom is blooming very prettily. u noe, this is often like the perfect setting like say...like wad romance and stuff...wad with spring has arrived and all...the cliche stuff. but me? i find nothing romantic in that and in fact i find that a sort of mockery of me. somehow i feeel that somewhere, life is making a joke out of me. life is hiding soemwhere, mocking at me. i mean it ALWAYS happens. anyway so teh latest update

there is now a her4
her3 was a mistake. i think i was crazy back then.
her2 was also a mistake. mistook frenship for crush...urgh.
her1...no comments...
her0...well...once i lost my dad's book and i was crying like mad cos i thot my dad's gonna kill *[me...
then she came over and offered me 2 things.
a smile and tissue.
that was why i liked her i guess...

that was sec1, and it was strange really, for i wondered who taht angel was.
oh wells. now we're just frens. and i have no more feelings for her. ]*-all stuff in between the brackets refer to her0.
reason for terminating persuit then. lasted 3 years. then she got a BF...who happened to be a very close fren of mine(who's also nicer and smarter) so naturally, i gave up.

anyway, teh navy advertisement.

" if ur life were a movie, would it be gd?"

well, i'd like mine in anime.

and it'll be funny. cos my life is a joke. i am a joke. u'll eitehr cry or laugh ur ass off watching it.
taht, or ur be crying of boredom

./end
"Falling deeply into an almost forgotten dream, I am now: Les miserables. I loved you too much and you are now on the other side of the wall, Laughing softly... My feelings will never reach you... I'll put them in a sigh "-adapted from mizerable, by Gackt

meanwhile, i wonder why she told me she's unattached back then... >_<. eitehr anshul is wrong...or she could be lying to me...i dunno wad to think man...but if she's lying...all i can say is...why lie to me? if u din want to hurt me, then it would be better if u told me the truth...wouldn't hurt half as much...i noe if u lied, u did so so i would feel hurt but stilll....

alternatively if anshul is wrong(which i dun think so) then all these is nothing..lolz...but oh wellz im taking that he's correct.

all units disengage