the wound is still fresh

hurt abit today. expected. since i get exposed to the source.

but at least she stopped straing at me like an enemy.

gd.

going well.

however, i still need to stem all emotions.

that's a prob.

we'll have to see.

velu was making fun of me abt jayce again.

this despite me having told him abt the abortion of teh operation.

naturally i was pissed with him, cos i would expect such things from preventing me and her from even becoming frens.

dammit.

why this?

cos i was drawing a gal....and he assumed that it had to be jayce.

well let me tell u...IT'S NOT!

cumon, since when did she wear a NBC suit?

or use a gas mask, a glock and a granade laucher?

and since when was her hair liddat?
geez...
dun make statements liek that.

(later he admitted that actually he was just wondering if i found soemone new that's why...well, look...no one i noe carries a glock , and grenade launcher and...)

so yah.

not a new target or wadnot.

just diverting attention by having imaginary gals in my head.
like the characters im planning- thinking abt wad characteristics they shld have.

hoping this works.

was smsing adeline from my church. zoe feels that me too anti social and shld talk to other pple in my cell grp more. so i smsed her. then like 4 hrs later then reply....i dunno like deja vgu liddat lor...dunno if she'll reply my reply...gdness i feel so...crappy.

i feel like scum.

./end