T_T

thurs. that was yesterday. pretended not to be bothered by that. i've gotten over it i told others.

have i?

i dunno.

yesterday i put on a mask. i was looking more cheerful than i normally was. but sinyi was like: anxian are u ok?

why would u ask? of cos im ok....

well u look...D-E-V-A-S-T-A-T-E-D

so she can see thru it.

much as how ichigo tries to look cheerful when his mother's death anniversary comes, i try to look cheerful even tho inside im devastated.

i try to erase her from memory.

fails terrible.

when i let my mind wander, it will lead back to her and i just get very frustrated with myself.

WAD IN THE EARTH IS WRONG!?


and that chapel i couldn't even look at teh stage.

cos she and teh sfc j2s were on stage that chapel.

i couldn't look up.

it's like when i looked to see what was chaple that day, from all of teh pple on stage i can clearly see her face
her eyes, straing down at me,filled with so much anger and disgust. i really cannot look at her anymore. mayeb it's just my illusion.

but im totally sure she hates me now

hate myself....

xy finds it hilarious that i cant see jayce.

she feels taht it's a sense of deja vu.

>_<
T_T

the real folk blues- cowboy bebop


Romaji Lyrics
Aishiteta to nageku ni wa
Amari ni mo toki wa sugi te shimatta
Mada kokoro no hokorobi o
Iyasenumama kaze ga fuiteru
Hitotsu no me de asu o mite
Hitotsu no me de kinou mitsumeteru
Kimi no ai no yurikagode
Mo ichido yasurakani nemuretara
Kawaita hitomi de dareka na itekure
*The real folk blues
Honto no kanashimi ga shiritaidake
Doro no kawa ni sukatta jinsei mo warukuwanai
Ichido kiri de owarunara
Kibou ni michita zetsuboto
Wanagashikakerareteru kono chansu
Nani ga yoku te warui no ka
Koin no omoi to kuramitaita
Dore dake ikireba iyasareru no darou
The real folk blues
Honto no yorokobi ga shiritai dake
Hikaru mono no subete ga ougen to wa kagiranai
* repeat



English Translation
It's too late to cry I love you.
The wind still blowing, my heart still aching
One side of my eyes see tomorrow,
And the other one see yesterday
I hope I could sleep in the cradle of your love, again
Cry for me, somebody, with dry eyes
*The real folk blues
I just want to feel a real sorrow
It's not bad a life in the muddy river
If life is once
Hopeless hope, and the chance with traps
What is right, or wrong
It's like a both side of a coin
How long I must live till I release?
The real folk blues
I just want to feel a real pleasure
All that glitters is not gold
*repeat

Dahlia-x japan

DO NOTHING BUT CRY
DAY AND NIGHT
kako to mirai no hazama de
kawaranai omoi
kirei na uso ni kaete mo... ALL ALONE

hateshinai yozora ni nagareru
namida wo dakishimete... mou ichido
OH MY DAHLIA
kokoro wo yurasu kanashimi wa
kazoe kirenai hoshi ni naru kedo

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO GO
mayoi no naka de hirogeta
kodoku no tsubasa namida no umi wo koetara

YOU'LL SEE BLUE SKY
katachi no nai yume de mo ii
ashita no kaze ni kagashite
habataku... ima

TIME AFTER TIME
YOU TRY TO FIND YOURSELF
nagareru toki no naka de
tenai kizu dakishime
setsunasa no kaze ni mau

DREAM ON YOUR LEFT
DEAD ON YOUR RIGHT
aoi yoru wo dakishimete
ashita wo toikakeru
mujyun darake no kokoro ni... DEAD OR LIVE

eien no ichibyou ni nagareru
namida wo kazaranai de... mou nido to
OH MY DAHLIA
daremo ga motsu kokoro no kizuato ni
nagareru ame wa...

TIME AFTER TIME yoru no sora ni
umareta imi toikakeru
taenai namida no kawa
giniro ni kagayaku made

tsumetai kaze ni fukarete
tobitatenai toritachi ga
sorezore no yume dakishime
yoake no sora wo...

TIME AFTER TIME
YOU CRY IN REALITY
nagareru jikan wo tomete
nagashita namida no kiseki
gensou no hana ga saku

english translation
Do nothing but cry Day and night In a narrow space between past and future Your memories will stay unchanged Even if you turn them into beautiful lies... you're all alone Your tears flow Into an unlimited nocturnal sky... Once more Oh my Dahlia Your heart filled with sorrow Turns into an unfinished number of stars You don't know where You're going to In distress you have deploy your wings of loneliness Beyond an ocean of tears You'll see blue sky Even in a shapeless dream Refugee on the tomorrow's winds Flap your wings... now Time after time You try to find yourself In the time which passes You carry unchanging injuries Which flutter in winds of oppression Dream on your left Dead on your right Embrace the blue night Question your tomorrows In your heart filles with contradiction... dead or alive In a second long like eternity Your tears won't flow Two times Oh my Dahlia For whoever has scars in their heart The rain streams Time after time In the nocturnal sky You question why are you born Until your endless river of tears Shines with a brilliant gold color The icy wind blows The birds what can't fly Carry each one of your dreams Into the daybreak's sky Destiny Alive Heaven Love Innocence Always Destroy Aftermath Hell Life Infinite Time after time You cry in reality The passing time stops Miracle of sheded tears The flowers of your illusions will open out


./end feels akward