ok. updates.
1stly, sunday morning felt very different. so did monday morning. it was strange but for those two days i wasn't thinking abt jayce at all. those two days. she felt just liek any other stranger. maybe i have lost those feelings. tuesday came and i strated feeling again. i knew that i should disengage. i smsed one of her gal frens: yibo. asked if jayce would be happier if i stopped liking her and gave up. yibo replied: 'yes definitely:)" im like...u could have jsut said yes without the :)....that was reallly quite bad fro me and it felt quite bad. quite.
matsh assignment came back, not gd, only 50%. but i did it in a rush so it's expected. after all i had to redo it after losing my pad. tuesday was supposed to be horrid. yet i came home rather "high" as my sister said. few possiblities:1) i've gone mad 2) soemone shot me with prozac(which also suppresses the sex drive-maybe that's why!) but thw most probable one is 3)(trying not to sound tyoo preachy here) my conversion. my WWWADDDD!? u say. conversion. im changing religion. used to eb free thinker...sort of... changing tho not yet complete...into christian. now i noe many of u think that im doing thsi for jayce. i assure u it's not. in fact it's only happening the past few days, and alos as a result of me noeing for certain that im not doing for jayce. u c...i'd have doen so a lil earlier...if i wasn't so sure if i was doing for her or not. i did not want to convert just for teh sake of her. that will be too shalllow and thta'll be for teh wrong reason. so after much encouragement from charles and victor im gonna finally convert. so why was i so high on tues? no idea. maybe it's teh sharing abt teh bible on tues. i dunno. it made me feel alot better. altho under normal circumstances i would've been very sad...and would start crying. but things jsut changed. perhaps it's the feeling taht im no longer alone. perhaps. it's been soemthing i have been searching all my life for. a place to belong and company to hang out with...tho technically, im stilll alone...but u noe that he will be there for u when u need him. maybe. still new in this. the truth will surface eventually.
oh yes,zhin thet, my fren who wants to convert to christianity as well, well, he decided to join soem church. he lives in bukit panjang...and so does jayce.... will be wondering whether they might meet.will be funny if tehy do tho....i think.
probably teh last tiem i'll talk abt jayce in this blog...probably...ok, she got grade 2 for PW, but when i aksed her abt her blk test she was a bit unhappy. seriously i thot she would have kicked my ass fro blk test, but she told me she din study thsi time and only got EEF. ok...it's ok...but im soemwad scepticle. if a mugger liek her(no offense mdm if ur reading this) who studies in the library so often gets EEF, wad abt a slacker liek me? doesn't taht mean my BBCE grades where underserving? wad abt my BADA gradesv last year...woah. anyway, if ur wondering i only got a grade 3. and only 8 ppeple in my schl got garde 1. that's lesss than 1%. compared to jj's 40% ort HC 98%...it's crazy. so im sure u heard the news abt the online petition by malcom koh to review our PW teaching style. i was 1 of teh 287 pple who signed. and then yesterday, teh DP came after teh schl saying taht they need to be given some time, and that an online petition was too extreme for such a timeframe. oh wells in my defence i shall state that this is only to speed up teh process and to highlight it, just in case they cant see it. as far as i noe, schls never liek to admit tehir mistakes most of eth tiem, and all teh bureaucracu coems in. which is why i firmly believed in such petitions.
anyway, so thsi week i lose 3 hrs of gp today and yesterday cos my tutor's on course. woot. but tehn tml, i have s apper training at 5...on my short ady that ends at 1245. sad. gonna watch anime tml. haha. of cos if were still stalking jayce or wadever u want to call it. i would have liekd suchj an arrangement for her days ends late on thurs(info courtesy fo velu). but u noe. im not. so it sux...*urgh...*
anyway, i was todl to share wad i feel abt converting by my mentor, zeo(yes i have a mentor...now, who used to b from sa)..so does blogging count :P hhaa
./end
(converting......10%)
1stly, sunday morning felt very different. so did monday morning. it was strange but for those two days i wasn't thinking abt jayce at all. those two days. she felt just liek any other stranger. maybe i have lost those feelings. tuesday came and i strated feeling again. i knew that i should disengage. i smsed one of her gal frens: yibo. asked if jayce would be happier if i stopped liking her and gave up. yibo replied: 'yes definitely:)" im like...u could have jsut said yes without the :)....that was reallly quite bad fro me and it felt quite bad. quite.
matsh assignment came back, not gd, only 50%. but i did it in a rush so it's expected. after all i had to redo it after losing my pad. tuesday was supposed to be horrid. yet i came home rather "high" as my sister said. few possiblities:1) i've gone mad 2) soemone shot me with prozac(which also suppresses the sex drive-maybe that's why!) but thw most probable one is 3)(trying not to sound tyoo preachy here) my conversion. my WWWADDDD!? u say. conversion. im changing religion. used to eb free thinker...sort of... changing tho not yet complete...into christian. now i noe many of u think that im doing thsi for jayce. i assure u it's not. in fact it's only happening the past few days, and alos as a result of me noeing for certain that im not doing for jayce. u c...i'd have doen so a lil earlier...if i wasn't so sure if i was doing for her or not. i did not want to convert just for teh sake of her. that will be too shalllow and thta'll be for teh wrong reason. so after much encouragement from charles and victor im gonna finally convert. so why was i so high on tues? no idea. maybe it's teh sharing abt teh bible on tues. i dunno. it made me feel alot better. altho under normal circumstances i would've been very sad...and would start crying. but things jsut changed. perhaps it's the feeling taht im no longer alone. perhaps. it's been soemthing i have been searching all my life for. a place to belong and company to hang out with...tho technically, im stilll alone...but u noe that he will be there for u when u need him. maybe. still new in this. the truth will surface eventually.
oh yes,zhin thet, my fren who wants to convert to christianity as well, well, he decided to join soem church. he lives in bukit panjang...and so does jayce.... will be wondering whether they might meet.will be funny if tehy do tho....i think.
probably teh last tiem i'll talk abt jayce in this blog...probably...ok, she got grade 2 for PW, but when i aksed her abt her blk test she was a bit unhappy. seriously i thot she would have kicked my ass fro blk test, but she told me she din study thsi time and only got EEF. ok...it's ok...but im soemwad scepticle. if a mugger liek her(no offense mdm if ur reading this) who studies in the library so often gets EEF, wad abt a slacker liek me? doesn't taht mean my BBCE grades where underserving? wad abt my BADA gradesv last year...woah. anyway, if ur wondering i only got a grade 3. and only 8 ppeple in my schl got garde 1. that's lesss than 1%. compared to jj's 40% ort HC 98%...it's crazy. so im sure u heard the news abt the online petition by malcom koh to review our PW teaching style. i was 1 of teh 287 pple who signed. and then yesterday, teh DP came after teh schl saying taht they need to be given some time, and that an online petition was too extreme for such a timeframe. oh wells in my defence i shall state that this is only to speed up teh process and to highlight it, just in case they cant see it. as far as i noe, schls never liek to admit tehir mistakes most of eth tiem, and all teh bureaucracu coems in. which is why i firmly believed in such petitions.
anyway, so thsi week i lose 3 hrs of gp today and yesterday cos my tutor's on course. woot. but tehn tml, i have s apper training at 5...on my short ady that ends at 1245. sad. gonna watch anime tml. haha. of cos if were still stalking jayce or wadever u want to call it. i would have liekd suchj an arrangement for her days ends late on thurs(info courtesy fo velu). but u noe. im not. so it sux...*urgh...*
anyway, i was todl to share wad i feel abt converting by my mentor, zeo(yes i have a mentor...now, who used to b from sa)..so does blogging count :P hhaa
./end
(converting......10%)
posted by morbiddesires at 5:37 PM
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