death wish

have u ever felt one of those days where u hate ur life so much, feel like dying just for the sake of dying.

one of those days

maybe it's pms(which is wad xy would probably say).mayebe it's the stupid grades i get. maybe it's teh stupid DP2...maybe it's abt her...or maybe it's the stupid camp.

i guess they all add up.

1st let me talk abt teh camp. it's up to sunday morning..so i'll be stuck in this heelhole for the next 48hrs...yeah..i dont reallly like this schl. theonly consolation i find is her...and that's not much. anyway, there goes my weekend, my tutorials...and possibly my grades as well.
hell,im already giving them my fri and wed night.
now guitar is taking MOST of my weekends.
really pissed with guitar. not teh pple but the CCA. urgh. and mr wong saw me today, asked for my grades then asked why i did so badly. "guitar sn't so busy right?'

nonsense! wad with all these stupid camps and teh concert. hate it lots. wed released at 9.10 pm..got home abt 10.30 and my mother was screaming her ass off...urgh..

angry

anyway stupid DP2 asked to meet 4 subbers. told us to drop our 4th subject. wad teh F*@k?!
"drop ur weakest subject..."
oh for god's sake i got an E for mathc. want me to drop mathc and take fmath?
" think with teh end in mind..."
the end of everyone's life is in death...so think with teh end in mind...think abt how i want to die?always hated this morons who try to sound philosophical but end up sounding like a downright idiot.
anyway...how stupid was she? a memeber of teh public complained that a student was rude and alll...and that teh student was idenitfied" By teh SA logo on the badge"
that's utterly moronic... NO ONE IN SAJC WEARS A BADGE WITH OUR LOGO!...it's the sas boys lah!(oh for crying out loud)

ok..in case u never knew....XY understands that i get moodswings periodicallly. therefore she comments that i have pms at times.

but right nowlet's talk abt her... yesterday when she was doing scripture reading(her second tiem this year) she was looking a little flustered...so i figured that she was a lil...make that very stressed..withy life concert and alll. so later when i went home, i smsed her asking if she was ok. of cos i can see she's not ok...and not like i can do anything...but least to say....i think it's nice to noe taht there are pple who care and such stuff so i did that. anyway, no replies this time so OOOHHH CRAP...i think i screwed up this tiem. altho everything seemed normal this morning...i think it's a ticking time bomb...

anyway, im was very suspicious of nelson yesterday. he asked if i was going for life concert teh christian rock concert and all...initially...i was thinking shld i? i decided taht if i can get i tix i'll go...just for fun. but i couldn't so i was liek: oh wells wadever...then he was liek: if u REALLY want to go, it's opk to go without a tix. by then i was liek: nah..too risky...i'll forget abt it. ok. few things that ran thru my mind. does nelson noe abt it? he's in her class...so shld noe abt it. if he does, is he trying to create opportunity or wadnot? hm...how suspicious

ok, so im very depressed today...

may add other stuff of teh week lateron sunday

death wish-gackt

furueru karada o sotto osae
tonari de nemuru tenshi no kao o nozoita
mita koto mo nai seijaku to chinmoku no naka de
me ni yakitsuita hikari ni unasarete
ashita mo kono yozora ni
ima ni mo koboresou na hoshi wa mirareru no...
kaze ni nabiku kami o yubi ni karame
kimi o dakiyose kuchizuke kawashiteta
ano toki no kimi wa ima no boku to onaji...
tsumetai kaze o hitori de mitsumeteta
ima nara wakariaeru
ano toki no kimi ga nagashita namida no wake sae mo
wasureteita kimi no kaori sae
omoidashite koboreru namida o kazoete
"kimi no uta" sotto kuchizusaminagara
ano hi no you ni yozora ni yubi de egaite
hakondeyuku... kimi no basho e
mou sugu... hora...
deaeru


now im just tired. i want to cry. haven't prepared for the conductor's audition tml or practiced teh pieces for ensemble.

die.


./end