untitled

://del file
deleting...
://file deleted

://purge LPU
error with connection to LPU

LPU test.
testing.....
no LPU found

please specify location of LPU.

://end

why i love larc en ciel....

i'll just give you a few examples and you should see why...

FLOWERS


そう気付いていた 午後の光にまだ
僕は眠ってる
想いどおりにならないシナリオは とまどいばかりだけど

今日も会えないからベッドの中目を閉じて
次の次の朝までも この夢の君に見とれてるよ

いつでも君の笑顔に揺れて
太陽のように強く咲いていたい
胸が 痛くて 痛くて 壊れそうだから
かなわぬ想いなら せめて枯れたい!

もう笑えないよ 夢の中でさえも同じこと言うんだね
窓の向こう 本当の君は今何をしてるんだろう

遠い日の昨日に空っぽの鳥かごを持って
歩いてた僕はきっと君を探してたんだね

彩やかな風に誘われても
夢中で君を追いかけているよ
空は 今にも 今にも 降り注ぐのような青さで
見上げた僕を包んだ

like a flower
flowers bloom in sunlight and I live close to you

いくつもの種をあの丘に浮かべて
きれいな花を敷きつめてあげる
早く 見つけて 見つけて ここにいるから
起こされるのを待ってるのに
いつでも君の笑顔に揺れて
太陽のように強く咲いていたい
胸が 痛くて 痛くて 壊れそうだから
かなわぬ想いなら せめて枯れたい!

translation:
Yes, I just noticed. In the afternoon sun,
I am still here, sleeping,
wondering why the scenarios in my head aren't going as planned. But,

because I can't see you today, I'll just lie in my bed, eyes closed.
Even until tomorrow, and the day after that, I'll just watch the you in my dreams

I want to sway with your smile forever,
flowering as strong as the sun.
My heart hurts, it hurts, because it's about to break.
If these wishes never come true, at least let me wither away.

I can't even laugh anymore. You say the same words even in my dreams.
Out there, I wonder what the real you is doing.

Clutching a birdcage, in a long distant yesterday,
I walked around, looking for you.

Even if the beautiful winds tempt me away,
I'm still desperately chasing you.
The sky is so blue, it looks like it's about to fall down
As I look up, it wraps itself around me.

like a flower
flowers bloom in sunlight and I live close to you

I'll send countless seeds onto that hill
I'll cover it with beautiful flowers for you.
Please find me, find me quickly, because I'll always be here.
I'm still just waiting to be woken up.
I want to sway with your smile forever,
flowering as strong as the sun.
My heart hurts,it hurts, because it's about to break.
If these wishes never come true, at least please let me wither away.

i dunno abt you, but to me, that's some of the most bueatiful lyrics i've ever heard.
./end

cos im leaving on a jet plane....

All my bags are packed
Im ready to go
Im standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxis waitin
Hes blowin his horn
Already Im so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times Ive played around
I tell you now, they dont mean a thing
Evry place I go, Ill think of you
Evry song I sing, Ill sing for you
When I come back, Ill bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
Ill be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that youll wait for me
Hold me like youll never let me go
cause Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, Im leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

-leaving on a jet plane; john denver(at least originally)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7RLcq4Kn3Y

ok, let's put things in perspective-
yes, im leaving on a jet plane-what, in a week
no, it's not early morn now-it's friggin 11.20pm-the flight's 5pm btw.
im not taking a cab(prob)-gosh cab fares are a KILLER. and since im carrying so few items.
oh, and yes, my bags are packed-so much so that i've already sent them(kit bag)
and i really hate to go-like seriously-it's ex wallaby-it's polygon camp-what good is that? we're like gonna live 1 month in friiggin tents-urgh.
oh-and assuming i dun die by:1-crashing my bike catastrophically,2-crushed to death by field pack 3-unforeseen circumstances, then i should be back on 13th nov morn-unless we get retained in australia then we could have a prob...so yeah i pretty much know when i'll be back.
im not standing outside any door. in fact, here i am sitting in front of my computer-writing nonsense on my blog.
and NO! i do not have anyone to quote" kiss me and smile for me,Tell me that youll wait for me,Hold me like youll never let me go"...and so on and so forth...
and im DEFINITELY not bringing a wedding ring back. no seriously-no.
and i dun play around-i dun have what it takes is more like it- but yah, i dun. to be more precise-i've never really had a galfren so it's not technically possible to play around u see-i mean to play around u at least need what-1 galfren(which i've never had T_T)

to put it simply-i shouldn't be using this song-

im rubbish

./end-why? why? why must we go for wallaby?

anomalous day

well, im back from thailand! few stories but honestly too tired to post them. in the meantime i'll just talk abt today which has thus far beeen....anomalous...

let me explain in wad sense it has been anomalous.

welll...the whole day feels like a dream... and somehow reality seems like...well, a dream.

also, if assuming wad my sis said is true that she did not say "sicken child " at me...then i must have been hallucinating...

PC is no longer working...it was still ok just b4 i left for thailand...

phone....NO RECEPTION! well since afternoon.

macs tasted the same way as it should but for some reason i hated it. cant tell why. it's not that im sick of it, given thta i haven't eaten that for like more than 3 weeks but i just didn't feel like eating it.

appetite's a bit off too...dun really feel like eating.

well, one thing.

today is the 19th of dec...and u noe, it's someone's b'day. u noe who.
i've been planning to send a b'day greeting to her since....a long time ago. in fact if i were in thailand, i might've planned to send anyways.

timing couldn't have been better cos i just came back last nite from thailand, so it would've been the first thing i did after i touch down.

but in the ned i didn't.

i didn't want to.

i couldn't do it.

it somehow has become apparent to me that she'll be happier if i dun contact her.

yes. taht is how it is.

on one hand, it's nice to know that pple know ur b'day and send you greetings.

but on the other hand to recieve it from someone who u dun recall, and someone who's not spposed to know. prob very freaky. who knows, she might have changed her hp no..

who knows.

blink of an eye, it's been 9 months since i last saw her.
time really flies. i should've let go.

but im still learning, everyday, even as my world around me starts to crumble, and reality becoems distorted, and fiction takes over my reality.

i am learning to let go. learning to live my life...

it's not easy. but it's a neccessary evil in my life.

maybe someday down the rd in my life, i'll see her again on the streets, and we can both laugh together at how stupid i was. and we'll treat it as one of thoose silly memories of the past, and nothing more.

maybe.

im prob thinking too much.

maybe that's why my head's hurting and my mental stability is falling apart. or maybe it's just a lack of sleep or the jet lag that's affecting me.

cant tell for certain.

im prob crazy today.


but to all the pple who were born this day, 19th dec. cheers, happy b'day and happy holidays. esp for her.

if by some strange chance like 1 in a million kinda chance that you-the reader- happen to be taht her that im talking abt, well...happy b'day anyways. in any case in all likelyhood you're prob not...

i dunno where she is, wad she's doing or even to the extent of who she is now.

wad the hell, i cant even be certain now that she really existed...it feels like she was just part of a distant dream.

as is evident my brains have been shot to pieces.

think i better get some sleep.

maybe tml will be better.
./end

book in to book out to book in to book out to....

i've like booked in and booked out like...4 times this week urgh....
tues: endorse MC book in-then book out
wed: book in, nites off book out again...then book in again...
fri:book out for med appt, then book in for dinner to book out...


then i got home, and found out that i forgot my keys

book in to get my keys then book out to go home....
haiz....

repeat cycle.

./end

portal ending-spoilers ahead

this is the ending for the game portal



'Still Alive' by Jonathan Coulton

This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science
We do what we must
because we can.
For the good of all of us.
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the Science gets done.
And you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta.
We're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD. I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
for the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa
THAT WAS A JOKE.
HAHA. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking
when there's Science to do.
When I look out there, it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run.
There is research to be done.
On the people who are still alive.
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE

./end

game wishlist.

ok. so a no. of interesting (PC)games have come up and im drooling over them...
1. the orange box(by valve)
summary: it's a complilation disc containing
half-life 2(ok fine i alreayd have that..big deal)
half-life 2: episode 1(old i know...but i really wanna know wad happened to gordon freeman)
half-life 2: episode 2(woots that latest half life :))
team fortress2(prob wont play this much-not really a online player)
PORTAL!:fun and quirky and strange puzzle game involving creating portals. based on the source engine and played like a FPS...or rather the FPS perspective.

ok words alone are insufficient to explain, so here's a trailer for team fortress2 and portal



2. world in conflict
a real time tactical game set in the tiem of the cold war.



3.hitman blood money
reconmended by many of my frens...obvly u play a hitman (agent 47) and it follws teh story of agent 47.

./end

tadaima!

well, it's been more than half a year since my last post. suffice to say there's been many changes in my life.

sorry to all those who waited for the next post and who didn't get it.

im back.

back to blogging of cos.

well...for anyone who happens to chance upon this lonely and desserted corner.

ok. cut things shorts.

veyr short.

way past BMT.(was in schl 1, cougar coy)

now in 3guards as recce.

now at SMI (now CIS)for recce course.

yup.

well...lots of story to tell.

too little time to say it.

i will fill in the data as i deem myself to be free. for now better rest to recover-gotta book in tml.

oh yes. btw. any piece of information i deem to be too sensitive shall be....encrypted in my own very special way.

i hope you still remember how to decrypt my KTE encryption key.

prob will come out quite often.

esp since a lot of stuff is like...restricted....yeah liek im not spposed to say some things on my blog.

im in NS yah. so some stuff is too sensitive to discuss online...openly.

but dun worry
KTE is way hard to decript...i believe....and even if a terrorist or wadnot should one day ATTEMPT to do it(however foolish), the info may not be useful at all or it could be just be rubbish...welll....after spending so darn long just to decrypt hahahahz.
so if ur a terrorist(god forbid) and somehow u feel like trying ur luck...gd luck.

but that's not likely.

so it's quite safe. no worries.

BTW...only 3 pple in this world know how to crack my KTE encoding....me of cos...and 2 pple who are not related to me by blood at all... so also good luck trying to find my relatives.

as for the rest of you sane people who have no intention of blowing urself or other pple around u, KTE is also used when i want to encrypt certain...personal stuff...stuff taht i dun want the whole world esp some of my more kaypo frens to know abt.

so yes. there you have. im back and this is just a simple intro to my format.
have fun!

./end

is it that time again?

16 hrs.

great.

why do i still think of her

shit.

heart aches when i think of her.

i just realised

i never said goodbye to her.

and neither did she to me.

...

nvm.

anyways. this is my final post for some time.

bringing xtra phone.

no xtra batt darn.

well, in the meantime this is where i say gdbye




./end